I take steps in the right direction
And pray to God that there is a section
In my life that is fully fulfilled
With love and admiration being spilled
over everyone and everything
The only problem is that in this life
There are happy, sad and moments of strife
Constantly battling eachother to win
The outcome is that within each victim
lies a bit of someone who is struggling
Struggling to fight a life that is fulfilling
Struggling to come up on top
Struggling to make it through the day
Struggling to just be alive and stay
It's hard to be happy in a world so discontented
People lift you up and tear you down just after a few seconds
They'll never please others, but try to please themself
His self, her self, itself, one's self, theirself
Myself is the one that's supposed to be forgotten
The reason is that peer pressure is dominating
It shows how you can all be nominating
one person to do the same thing if you just persevere at it
Force them if you will, so they feel they are adequate
Clearly it's part of the reason people are struggling
Struggling to fight a life that is fulfilling
Struggling to come up on top
Struggling to make it through the day
Struggling to just be alive and stay
Now staying part is very tricky
We have our ups, downs, and times that are sticky
Can't get out of the mud... I'm too far deep
Making us yell, freak and even at times weep
Our heads off just to STAY afloat
It erks me to say this but why can't people comprehend
Some of us need a way or a time to escape and depend
Depend on ourselves and that we can do things on our own
That we don't need others to watch how we've grown
It's an internal affair... they all should know I'm struggling
Struggling to fight a life that is fulfilling
Struggling to come up on top
Struggling to make it through the day
Struggling to just be alive and stay
Friday, July 20, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
Confinement of the Cardiac Organ?
The Physical Heart
A muscular organ with the purpose of pumping blood to the extremities of the vertebrate by means of continuous involuntary rhythmic contractions.
The Metaphorical Heart
As vital as the heart is in life, it has a peculiar attachment to love. In the past it was thought that this kardia, Greek for "heart," was the headquarters of the soul and human thought. As it is apparent that this is not the case, people still use the term "heart" metaphorically as a symbol of love.
The "confinement" refers more so to the metaphorical annotation, than the physical attribution. Imprisoned in a sense of stagnation and unemotionally caring for others. The confusion I feel is not knowing when it is enough to really give up and stop trying to befriend someone. If they no longer want the friendship, that's fine. The difficulty is when the friendship is split and there are the casualties in the middle who you feel are having to "pick and choose" to spend time with one. It is absurd having people stuck in between, but what else can one do?
L8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz
A muscular organ with the purpose of pumping blood to the extremities of the vertebrate by means of continuous involuntary rhythmic contractions.
The Metaphorical Heart
As vital as the heart is in life, it has a peculiar attachment to love. In the past it was thought that this kardia, Greek for "heart," was the headquarters of the soul and human thought. As it is apparent that this is not the case, people still use the term "heart" metaphorically as a symbol of love.
The "confinement" refers more so to the metaphorical annotation, than the physical attribution. Imprisoned in a sense of stagnation and unemotionally caring for others. The confusion I feel is not knowing when it is enough to really give up and stop trying to befriend someone. If they no longer want the friendship, that's fine. The difficulty is when the friendship is split and there are the casualties in the middle who you feel are having to "pick and choose" to spend time with one. It is absurd having people stuck in between, but what else can one do?
L8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Oh dear!
So I was on Facebook just now. I am not normally on it and if I am it's because I received an email saying that someone wanted to add me or that I received a comment. Yesterday I was on for what could probably be the longest time I've spent on facebook, for A LOOOONG TIME! now I have a confession I was on for no real reason just now, but there is a purpose to this postage post. Here it is...
Facebook has now written at the bottom of your own profile a way to add more people to your list by pasting on an html link to your blog... that is ridiculous! I was shocked. How pathetic can people get that they want so many friends that they would get random people to post them as friends. I don't know. That doesn't really make sense, I don't think. but yeah. I don't know. it's crazy. you know Facebook is becoming part of many many lives when they start doing that craziness... CRAZY!!!!!! okay nap time and clean up room time...
l8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz
Facebook has now written at the bottom of your own profile a way to add more people to your list by pasting on an html link to your blog... that is ridiculous! I was shocked. How pathetic can people get that they want so many friends that they would get random people to post them as friends. I don't know. That doesn't really make sense, I don't think. but yeah. I don't know. it's crazy. you know Facebook is becoming part of many many lives when they start doing that craziness... CRAZY!!!!!! okay nap time and clean up room time...
l8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Contradiction
big and small
long and short
spacious and crammed
black and white
birth and death
clean and dirty
up and down
ceiling and floor
right and left
tired and awake
OUT OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS.... I'm tired and awake at the same time. I am attempting to sleep now...
l8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz
long and short
spacious and crammed
black and white
birth and death
clean and dirty
up and down
ceiling and floor
right and left
tired and awake
OUT OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS.... I'm tired and awake at the same time. I am attempting to sleep now...
l8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz
Monday, February 26, 2007
All Three for the Purpose of One!
So yesterday, was that BIG day I had talked about. The day where I lead worship for a huge congregation in three different services. Three different tones, three different times of mistakes, three different groups of people out there, three different reactions, but it was all there for one purpose. That purpose was the purpose of bringing praise to God and thanking him for all He has done for us.
As you know, the day before yesterday was a stressful one, but I learned how to just let God work through me and to take that fear and make it useful and to show His glory through it all. So let me quickly run you through yesterday morning... and maybe, if there is time, tell you about my night with the 79th Annual Academy Awards!!!
So I began the day with an early morning... 4:30 am. I got up got ready and got dressed. I just want to mention that I wore this awesome tie. I'll try and take a photo of it and post it. I think it's possibly one of the most awesomeness I've seen of a tie yet. Anywho, I ended up at Grandview Baptist at around 6:30 am... and was the first person there. All the lights were off and I waited for our bassist to come because the doors were locked and I was the one that had a key to the place. We walked to the Worship Centre and just chatted about stuff. After about ten or fifteen minutes, the other band and tech members began to arrive.
7 am and we began rehearsal with a prayer and got right into practicing our transitions for the worship songs. We had so many that it took us literally until 8 am or even past 8 am to finish practice. I was feeling a bit frustrated because it seemed as if I wasn't understanding when anything was going to happen and how things transitioned into others. But eventually I got a hang of it. We went to another room for prayer right before and start the first service at 8:15. I was nervous and anxious, but was trying to keep my cool. I don't fully enjoy public speaking in front of big crowds, eventhough I used to be good at it when I was younger.
I fumbled over my scripture verses, didn't talk loud enough, kept my eyes closed sometimes (so I wasn't engaging the audience) and didn't properly introduce myself while the offering was passed around. I wasn't too worried about it all surprisingly now that I look back. I was excited and thought it went quite well. There was just one problem with that service there was this subtle music playing on a CD and it was in our monitors. I feed off the others (as I believe many people do), but specifically off the band. When the band feels it, I give more. But with this sound coming through they weren't really into it as much and so I wasn't able to feed off of them more than I could have, but it was all good... I thought it still went well. The congregation was pretty much stoic the whole time, but I didn't care because I was happy praising God. Service ended with a BANG! and the worship pastor, the producer and I at a quick meeting to discuss what we can do to make it the better for the next service.
We fixed words, we fixed the sound and the band was engaged, as well as the crowd. I fumbled my scripture verses again, and skipped a section of the song, but it was great because I was beginning to get the hang of it. I was beginning to not need my piece of paper that had all the words that was going to say. I was being able to relax and become more confident and just be myself. A little jumping and a little crazy (black singing) vocals, which I was SWEET! and yeah we ended that on a definite positive note. It went phenomenally. People came up to me and said that they loved the worship set and that I did an amazing job. Great encouragement and as much as I don't like hearing it, I have to admit it definitely boosted the confidence in myself and knew that I could relax more.
Third service hit and we were on. I read the scriptures fine and I lead the congregation much better. I had a blast and I know others did too. Besides one tiny fault, the lead guitarist forgot the beginning of Mighty to Save. It went awesome. I also did more "black singing" vocals. and I was happy.
It ended and I was poopeded... so I went home and took a nap. I'm not going to talk about the OSCARS because 24 just started and I'm missing the first 2 minutes ending this blog so yeah!
L8s, latex and all that love stuff
nathizz
As you know, the day before yesterday was a stressful one, but I learned how to just let God work through me and to take that fear and make it useful and to show His glory through it all. So let me quickly run you through yesterday morning... and maybe, if there is time, tell you about my night with the 79th Annual Academy Awards!!!
So I began the day with an early morning... 4:30 am. I got up got ready and got dressed. I just want to mention that I wore this awesome tie. I'll try and take a photo of it and post it. I think it's possibly one of the most awesomeness I've seen of a tie yet. Anywho, I ended up at Grandview Baptist at around 6:30 am... and was the first person there. All the lights were off and I waited for our bassist to come because the doors were locked and I was the one that had a key to the place. We walked to the Worship Centre and just chatted about stuff. After about ten or fifteen minutes, the other band and tech members began to arrive.
7 am and we began rehearsal with a prayer and got right into practicing our transitions for the worship songs. We had so many that it took us literally until 8 am or even past 8 am to finish practice. I was feeling a bit frustrated because it seemed as if I wasn't understanding when anything was going to happen and how things transitioned into others. But eventually I got a hang of it. We went to another room for prayer right before and start the first service at 8:15. I was nervous and anxious, but was trying to keep my cool. I don't fully enjoy public speaking in front of big crowds, eventhough I used to be good at it when I was younger.
I fumbled over my scripture verses, didn't talk loud enough, kept my eyes closed sometimes (so I wasn't engaging the audience) and didn't properly introduce myself while the offering was passed around. I wasn't too worried about it all surprisingly now that I look back. I was excited and thought it went quite well. There was just one problem with that service there was this subtle music playing on a CD and it was in our monitors. I feed off the others (as I believe many people do), but specifically off the band. When the band feels it, I give more. But with this sound coming through they weren't really into it as much and so I wasn't able to feed off of them more than I could have, but it was all good... I thought it still went well. The congregation was pretty much stoic the whole time, but I didn't care because I was happy praising God. Service ended with a BANG! and the worship pastor, the producer and I at a quick meeting to discuss what we can do to make it the better for the next service.
We fixed words, we fixed the sound and the band was engaged, as well as the crowd. I fumbled my scripture verses again, and skipped a section of the song, but it was great because I was beginning to get the hang of it. I was beginning to not need my piece of paper that had all the words that was going to say. I was being able to relax and become more confident and just be myself. A little jumping and a little crazy (black singing) vocals, which I was SWEET! and yeah we ended that on a definite positive note. It went phenomenally. People came up to me and said that they loved the worship set and that I did an amazing job. Great encouragement and as much as I don't like hearing it, I have to admit it definitely boosted the confidence in myself and knew that I could relax more.
Third service hit and we were on. I read the scriptures fine and I lead the congregation much better. I had a blast and I know others did too. Besides one tiny fault, the lead guitarist forgot the beginning of Mighty to Save. It went awesome. I also did more "black singing" vocals. and I was happy.
It ended and I was poopeded... so I went home and took a nap. I'm not going to talk about the OSCARS because 24 just started and I'm missing the first 2 minutes ending this blog so yeah!
L8s, latex and all that love stuff
nathizz
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