My Stupid Mouth...

So in three words I can talk about my day and majority of the conversations... "My Stupid Mouth". As great as the John Mayer song is and as pertinent to my life as it is... I just realize more and more that I will always say stupid things. I don't think about what I say sometimes and don't realize how rude it may come across.

As the saying goes... "actions speak louder than words", but for me the words are all I have. A mental note to remind... I need to shut up sometimes! I have the ability to talk and talk and talk and talk. And today it was brought to my attention that I don't know when to stop. It's a bad habit. I think it's because I like saying things before I here them from other people's mouth. I like to say things jokingly, but seldom there is a little stink inserted with it.

My actions have been lacking. All I do is complain, fight, or just get quiet... at least that's what I notice the most. As helpful as all those things are to get out my frustrations it isn't at the same time. It almost gets VERY unhealthy, specifically pour moi, I need to let things go. I need to be able to stop being stupid and rude. I need to think:

A mouth is used for talking and for communicating
And yet there is so much segregating going on in this world
that the world is no longer a unity of trust and love
but a way of deception, lies, and anger
I hate how we talk and talk about other things
but our own thoughts and feelings never come up
We hold it all back and revise the information we have gathered
Either holding it to someone's head or holding it up behind their back

It's a painful way to love, never feeling like someone actually loves you
Always thinking your back is the place where a murder will take place
You and I have a place in this world to lift I and you up
encouragement is the key, but our hate for eachother is the winner
We love to hate and hate to love, but love is the end product
Love we want, but love we feel we can't afford, so hate is what we do
Hate to have you and hate to be hated, but figure it's a happy medium

Why do we hurt? Why is my mouth so big
My mouth doesn't stop... it's unstable
Spewing words that don't make sense...
Always saying things it doesn't mean

I'm sorry to the world for the hurt it brings
I'll try to stop, but can't guaruntee it
A message should be sent when we are born
never learn to use because it will cause harm to the user
I propose as a quick end to this "poetic" rant of thoughts
That linger in the brain of the typical cynic
That is afraid of so much in this world, but fears to show that he is
My end comes to this... no longer will my mouth be open
to throw up words of useless garbage and create them
create the melodramas in my head which are built up from over thinking

HA... over thinking... you would think I don't think
but over thinking can be the reason to the means of the reason why
this sh*t happens to me with a clean slate, no marks on the board,
But screwed up once again... Yupp I've screwed up once again!

Strugglin' With Every New Day

I take steps in the right direction
And pray to God that there is a section
In my life that is fully fulfilled
With love and admiration being spilled
over everyone and everything

The only problem is that in this life
There are happy, sad and moments of strife
Constantly battling eachother to win
The outcome is that within each victim
lies a bit of someone who is struggling

Struggling to fight a life that is fulfilling
Struggling to come up on top
Struggling to make it through the day
Struggling to just be alive and stay

It's hard to be happy in a world so discontented
People lift you up and tear you down just after a few seconds
They'll never please others, but try to please themself
His self, her self, itself, one's self, theirself
Myself is the one that's supposed to be forgotten

The reason is that peer pressure is dominating
It shows how you can all be nominating
one person to do the same thing if you just persevere at it
Force them if you will, so they feel they are adequate
Clearly it's part of the reason people are struggling

Struggling to fight a life that is fulfilling
Struggling to come up on top
Struggling to make it through the day
Struggling to just be alive and stay

Now staying part is very tricky
We have our ups, downs, and times that are sticky
Can't get out of the mud... I'm too far deep
Making us yell, freak and even at times weep
Our heads off just to STAY afloat

It erks me to say this but why can't people comprehend
Some of us need a way or a time to escape and depend
Depend on ourselves and that we can do things on our own
That we don't need others to watch how we've grown
It's an internal affair... they all should know I'm struggling

Struggling to fight a life that is fulfilling
Struggling to come up on top
Struggling to make it through the day
Struggling to just be alive and stay

Confinement of the Cardiac Organ?

The Physical Heart
A muscular organ with the purpose of pumping blood to the extremities of the vertebrate by means of continuous involuntary rhythmic contractions.

The Metaphorical Heart
As vital as the heart is in life, it has a peculiar attachment to love. In the past it was thought that this kardia, Greek for "heart," was the headquarters of the soul and human thought. As it is apparent that this is not the case, people still use the term "heart" metaphorically as a symbol of love.

The "confinement" refers more so to the metaphorical annotation, than the physical attribution. Imprisoned in a sense of stagnation and unemotionally caring for others. The confusion I feel is not knowing when it is enough to really give up and stop trying to befriend someone. If they no longer want the friendship, that's fine. The difficulty is when the friendship is split and there are the casualties in the middle who you feel are having to "pick and choose" to spend time with one. It is absurd having people stuck in between, but what else can one do?

L8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz

Oh dear!

So I was on Facebook just now. I am not normally on it and if I am it's because I received an email saying that someone wanted to add me or that I received a comment. Yesterday I was on for what could probably be the longest time I've spent on facebook, for A LOOOONG TIME! now I have a confession I was on for no real reason just now, but there is a purpose to this postage post. Here it is...

Facebook has now written at the bottom of your own profile a way to add more people to your list by pasting on an html link to your blog... that is ridiculous! I was shocked. How pathetic can people get that they want so many friends that they would get random people to post them as friends. I don't know. That doesn't really make sense, I don't think. but yeah. I don't know. it's crazy. you know Facebook is becoming part of many many lives when they start doing that craziness... CRAZY!!!!!! okay nap time and clean up room time...

l8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz

Contradiction

big and small
long and short
spacious and crammed
black and white
birth and death
clean and dirty
up and down
ceiling and floor
right and left
tired and awake

OUT OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS.... I'm tired and awake at the same time. I am attempting to sleep now...

l8s, latex, and all that love stuff
nathizz