Changing in front of others

So, today has been different. I was actually doing work the first week of school, but I'm already stressing about it all. For those who said bible college was like sunday school... man no not at all! I had 3 classes yesterday, and I have so much work already that is all do at least by next week. I can't skip a class, eventhough right now I feel as though I wouldn't mind skipping tomorrow and sleeping.

Going through change is crazy. I feel like everything around me is just going at a steady pace, but I'm just walking just a little faster than everyone else. But with that in mind... I'm saying bye to some and hello to those in front of me. I've been reading about how when God wants us to do something for him and we doubt, it just stops us from what He truly wants. I don't ever wish that upon myself, but I do feel that I have been acting in that way. I'm constantly doubting the changes he has planned for me. And in this way He can't use me in the fullest way possible. It upsets me. I know some that are willing to give it all and actually let it happen. I want to, but feel like I need to control it because I'm afraid of how it'll end up working out.

I just spent the past 4 months getting used to one type of life. It was living at home, working all the time, and not really hanging with my friends. But this semester is all about living away from home close to my friends, going to school, no job, and trying to get it all sorted out. I want to spend as much time with friends as I can and want to be able to have enough money to do whatever. But my days just seem to be filled up more and more with other things... things that make me feel like I'm being trapped. Like others have already figured out what they want out of me. I want to break the chains and finally see that I am not living under someone else's wants and needs, but under God's.

As I leave to work on English, I send this your way... A Spotlight on Critical Skills in Essay Writing helps procrastination.

L8s, latex and all that love stuff
N8 the gr8

At a new beginning...

After four months of figuring things out, working three jobs, and taking two courses at school... today was my first day at a new place. I've left the University of Guelph and have begun strolling down this new path of mine. This path where I know someone is walking by my side smiling... getting my education at Heritage College full-time.

It's a scary thing when, you are older than the rest of the students starting their time in the post-secondary experience, but I know that I will live a more fulfilling life with all these connections that are at my reach for what I want to do. I'm excited and yet so scared, it's not a doubt type of scared, but a scared that I want to be able to drown myself in absorbing as much as I can and just grow with knowledge and experience.

The hard part about all of this is what I feel are obligations: friends, church events, family, and just the overall helping people out. I enjoy it all, but I feel that some assume that since I'm around I will be involved with anything they need me to do. It doesn't work like that anymore. I have school, something I've been wanting to do with my life for so long and it's finally happening. I don't want to pass up this opportunity for others that think that they know best.

Other than that, I'm really pumped for tomorrow. It's my first day of classes. I have Intro to Canadian Sociology, English Composition, NT Survey, Global Outreach Strategies, and Intro to Theology. They are definitely not like the courses I have taken in the past (science credits), so it should be good I have a lot of reading I need to get done... it's 9 books for the 5 courses... CARAZAY! The awesome part is that I only have school tuesdays and thursdays... I hope I can do well with sitting through all of the classes and not be a distraction.... because "it's been a while" as Matt Good would say in his song "It's been a while since I was your man"

G'day.... L8s, latex, and all that love stuff!